my yogic journey started about 10-11 years I think with trying "poweryoga" at the trendy gym I was some kind of manager for.
I think for me at that time I was to a point interested in alternative things but I was not inte new age stuff and thought as so many others that they were hippies [wich I thought was cool in a way]..
I had some minor problems with my lower back due to tight hip flexors and gluteus [ass muscles] from both my youth playing a lot of soccer, but mainly from teaching spinning classes and using clips on the pedals pulling the leg up, and of course not to much stretching..

I dont remember exactly what I felt after the first yoga class but I am sure I liked it since I am now where I am.
Even poweryoga was something mysterious at that time for all people and I think for me mostly in the beginning it was a challenge and it felt very good being a bit more flexible, I do remember how it so clearly was a love/hate thing to do yoga ha ha.
..but quit soon when starting to find the yogic breath or in this case a form of ujjay breath I started to long more after theese classes.
Ulrica who was my teacher and collegue at this place encouraged me also and I think I asked her quit some amount of questions ha ha.

I had som really cool experiences, I remember especially when during one asana sudenly something "popped" in my lower back, like when you twist sometimes and your "spine make noices".. I felt a great warm sensation in my whole lower back, and I felt like my energy drained, but in such a nice way. probably something that was stuck deep inside "unlocked" and as a counter effect some tensions released etc.
I rested for a while in childspose [wich was more like a hare pose with arms forward] and felt strange in a lovely way.
at this point in my yoga journey I had became quit strong and did jumps from forward bend to plank and down to chaturanga...
but now I couldn't even come up to a easy cat pose or for sure not to a as we called it down dog without arms shaking and body felt super heavy [but soft].
after some tries and a lot of resting I decided to leave the class, I couldn't continue. afterwards I stayed to let the teacher know what has happend so she didn't think I left in a rude way.

so to develope my own knowledge I took a short 3 day course at a gym, they call it teacher training but really.. hm..
anyway after this course since that period mostly girls did yoga, and there were not to many male teachers out there I started to get offers about maybe teaching? and poweryoga was strongly on a forward march then!
I didn't do my course to teach and I didn't at all feel ready to teach even with my earlier teaching experiences and the amount of yoga practice I had.
I decided finally to go a bit longer course with Ulrica, she was if not the one at least one of the first bringing this type of yoga to Sweden.
I think also since having her as my teacher from the start I felt like I needed to go there if I am gonna teach since the other course was sadly not near in quality [but still I learned some for my personal yoga practice].

a while after doing this course I startet to teach som class at a gym/fitness place, I think this was about 2002/3 and later on I did the second step in her teacher course in 2004 also.
already at this point I realized I had a good base of knowledge and experience. ans also I started to get more inquiries about teaching poweryoga. I had this as my hobby and slowly built up my experience in teaching but at the same time worked and studied as anyone else : )

along the way I had more classes and also startet to teach at companies and some private group etc, and from there startet slowly to cut back some at working and having yoga as a semi income, that felt really exciting,
also during this period [I guess I was quit lost into the world of yoga already then ha ha] I started my yoga web shop "namaste.se" wich started with selling some PVC sticky yogamats. this was already in 2003/2004 so I was probably one of the first selling yogamats etc,
and mine where really good already then ha ha.
actually one of my early prime years when more studios and gyms started to have poweryoga I sold about 800 yogamats in one year ha ha.
now with all competition around and the fact yoga is so trendy I am not even close to that amount, but I run my shop mainly because I LOVE it, not to much profit really.

anyway, Ulrica is still a main yoga figure of course here in Sweden, and she has a beautiful studio here in Stockholm aswell, it is a much bigger and "professional" studio then the small one we have : )
Even though I am not anymore in this style I feel that I have her to thank somehow that my ife is where it is right now, it all has to start somewhere..
"Om Yoga" her studio is called if any one is interested.

on this yogic journey of mine I did find myself being a bit different form my fellow collegues teaching, something made me have a slightly other approach, and as you might or might not know I ended up changing yogastyle totally about 3 years ago.. but already before that gliding towards this without really knowing or understanding it since I didn't really know much about "the other school", the more classical form of yoga..

I will write about that soon I think..

I have to tell you this short story, ok it is not much for the world but for me this is amazing he he

a while ago at my studio in Stockholm this women came to my collegue.
she asked if she could write somethng about our place and get some photos. she was a frilance writer and was doing a reportage for a yoga magazine in Netherlands about Stockholm.
of course she could, that is of course fun to perhaps be seen in a foregin yoga magazine : ).

anyway then we didn't hear any more of here, and we had hoped for her to send us a copy if she wrote something about is in the end, but then I guess it slipped out of our mind really.

so.. then for about 2 weeks ago maybe, in Thailand...
due to many different circumstances we ended up in some cosy bungalows almost at the end of the island of koh chang, I have actually been here at this "resort" once for many years ago.
here it is really quiet & calm and a good place to relax, feels almost like we are lonely here. 1 or 2 places furter down from this place was a more fancy place were we looked aswell on accomondation a nice bungalow but with tv and refridgerator etc, so we decided to take this slightly cheaper and much more "thai style" bungalow by the sea but amongst the trees. very nice!
anyway  went back to the fancier place just to tell them we had already booked another place, but said that we probably will come to them and eat anyway. she was "thai polite" and smiled and said yes your are very wellcome. that is an fact down here, more thai locals are getting much more rude etc if compare to the first times I visited this country, Iguess the tourism is slowly unfortunatly destroying the Thailand I fell in love with..

anyway, this place had a really chilled out area in their restaurant with hammoks and thai-triangle cushions, also they haf wifi so I could bring my laptop to see my e-mails etc.
so we decided to go there also to be kind to them, but mostly because it looked really nice and at the same time calm [we had been on a slightly less calm place the day before and moved right away, I am so old ha ha but I really dont enjoy bucket drinking kids and fire shows on the beach and a bit to loud music in chill out beach places]..

anyway 1 or 2 dys after this we decide to eat breakfast at the same place, I went there a bit before the others, and I talked to the staff there etc and looked around in the reception area, there was this magazine & book stand there in a corne, the one magazine on the top was about yoga so I picked it up to look at.

it was this yoga magazine from Netherlands...
in my head somewhere I was laughing and thought "what if this is the paper she might have written about us in".
I browsed thru the paper and there... at page 78 was a 2 page centerspread about "Yogastad Stockholm".
and right away amongs other pictures of placec I recognizedwas a picture of our place!!

ok, so it was a general reportage about yoga & eco frinedly places in Stockholm, but still we were amongs them in this magazine that I found here in "nowhere" on an island in thailand.
so I asked the staf there if by any chance they new who left the paper there, I am not ruse why but ha ha.
then a woman in the restaurant [and there was only here there ha ha] said "I did"..
then she said she bought at the airport on the way here, and she had wanted to find yoga on this island somewhere but no.
so I told her about the place we had done yoga the day before, wich actually I didn't recommend but still better then nothing. but then she said she was leaving that afternoon so now it was to late..

I had no idea what the text said since it was in dutch language.
so I asked here if she could translate some of the text about us.
I wont say all and I dont remember exactly all things, but this text about us was very positive.
I felt a bit warm actually [and remember I was already in the hot thailand wearing nothing but surfshorts, flip flops & t-shirt.].. ha ha

I think the first sentence was translated to something like
"an absolute recommendation is buddha spa".. I just tried to look at an online translator and something like that, but if anyone knows dutch here is the original phrase: "een echte aanrader is buddha spa", so let me know if means something else ha ha.
and the text underneeth the actual picture said something like "buddha spa offers all for body & mind" : )

anyway the point here is the fact that I found this yoga magazine from Netherlands in a small quiet resort on the other end of the world amost, and that the person who put it there was still present and had put it there only moments before, and she said that I could have the magazine aswell..
for me this is more then just a coincidence, what are the odds?
..destiny

AUM Shanti

since I stayed for 8 days, this the 8th part of this blog about my days in the ashram will be the last I think..

some things then to summarize my stay in southern India.

I am sure I will go again, perhaps I will go to one of their other ashrmas since this one is suppose to be the most "easy" one.
if or when I go again it will be for a longer period, but it is allways good to try first and feel like longing back then going for to long and dont wanna go back again I think.

I was expecting it to be more strict actually, but at the same time I really liked the way it was, and it is allways your choice what you do with your time when at the ashram.
a hard thing actually is all the hello's & good byes, when you get more used to that I think it is a chance to meet a lot of interesting people there. but actually I think they should make the minimum stay longer, or perhaps divide the dorms to 1 "long stay dorm" and one "short stay dorm", so that when you are stying for a bit longer you have a chance to get to know people more.. but at the same time, might be nice to be able to be kind of anonymous. I think the first time as with all first times in new places, there is a lot to take in, the next time you come it is not equally exciting and perhaps easier to quicker get into a more relaxed mood and get more out of the whole spiritual experience.

I actually in the end started to enjoy the long Satsangs more, I think for many reasons.
- the actual feeling of all chanting and the vibrations from so many people doing it simultaniously.
- you start to remember the chants and can easier follow without looking in the papers you get.
- physically you are more open and strong so sitting down on the floor is not as much of an issue anymore and you can enjoy everything else more, as with the meditation part before the chanting.
- you are more mentally calm also after a few days, and more ope to just join in with your singin, in the beginning it felt almost embarrasing ha ha.. someone told me that a real good statsang chanting becomes best when many not to good people chant/sing, then the all together sound becomes better and vibrations better aswell. and it is true, so many bad voices in there ended up in one collected beautiful chanting..

and actually chanting is consithered to be a spiritual devotional practice within the path of Bhakti Yoga.
and even if not relogoius you feel good after satsang.

one thing they talk about the really true yogis are that you should actually try to practice some of all paths of yoga, so you dont get fanatic about just one path wich is most common in our world, we have all or focus on Raja Yoga mostly..

ooh and I am not sure why bu I loved the Aarti we did every night wich ended each and everyday. and after Aarti you got some kind of sweets.
I loved the "Halwa" wich we also got often with our meals in the dinning hall.
Hawla can be many things and variations but we got somekind of sweet cardemum, coconut & rice version. sooo tasty!

the last day I saw them preparing for the new years puja, that I missed out on.
amazing what they do thieese patterns using their hands and powders etc.
cool!

the people at the ashram, the ones like me who came here to endulge a bit in yogic life, there is i big variety really!
most ones are for sure here for the asana practice, that is quit certain..
not all were already familiar with this style of yoga though. that was interesting.. quit many who got surprised over the way "we" do especially the asana practice. since relaxation is a big big part of this tradition for example and also the slightly more time you spend in each asana, especially if used to vinyasa forms of yoga that most western people are.
yes there were mostly western people there, but also some Indian naitives,
of course the Indian people have a total other fee here, I thnk perhaps 1/3 of our rate, but that is understandable I think and still for us it is not much money the amount we pay..

I met this one indian guy who stayed for 3 days, his name was [I think] "Lala" and he was the Indian national champion in "memory" or someting like that.. that ment they read or shown 500 objects in a row, and then he had to resay them afterwards, he got all 500 right and in the quickest time.. that is amazing! crazy really ha ha.

quit many here seamed to have this stay as a short part of their "doing whole India" journey, so stayed here for the 3 minimum days and then continued on, quit a few went to the ashram of "Amma", wichwas not to far away apparently,  you know the woman who is famous for huging everyone and in that way bliss them or something.
also some were regulars here, and quit a few were students of one of ther TTC's and some thinking of staying to the next uppcomming teacher training.

maybe it was my dorm but it felt like a lot of germans here, wich really surprised me at first, then I realized how big yoga is in germany and also that this form of classic hatha yoga is much wider known there then in Sweden.
I met only one Swede here, a girl that I talkt to a few times, they said though that there were a swede here who left just before me, ooh and there was this sweish woman there with her danish man, but she have lived in Amsterdam for many years.

  
there were I few that I got to know a little bit more, and some I didn't talk to at all. 2 guys who were both from Uk who styaed for just a few days, and the kind & über social italian/german man who I talked the most to he is a person I could actually see having contact with in the future, a danish girl who I found out she was an actress in her country I liked her somehow, her energy probably.. she did a shatkarma cleansing so she had a few rough days.. another german man who I talked some to, he was more of a quie person opposit the rumanian girl that felt like she was almost flirting around there and like a trendy person in hte ashram with her sunglasses on and tight clothes ha ha,
also this girl form australia that was "allways" next to me in asana class, there was something special with her we tlaked some also on one of the trips to the holy mountain [wich we did twice, 1 in the darkness for the Kali puja as I have written aready, and once more to see the BEAUTIFUL sunrise up there and morning meditation].
just one of those persons that you somehow feel connected to without knowing why, we realized after a few days that we didn't even know each others name.
the funny thing is for her I was "the scorio king" and without her knowing [I didn't tell her either actually ha ha] I refered to her in my mind as "the Scorpio woman"..
our first and many contats were in asana class during headstand variations when she was trying to manage to do the scorpio and I tried to help her in various ways.
in the end before I left she managed to do it and held it for quit some time, awesome!
she seamed like such a kind & humble person and her eyes were very dark and calm. she just gave an impression on me..
our energies connected or something. one class she was feeling weak and it actually felt strange not having her next to me during asana practice ha ha.
interesting how some people affect you in different ways without you actually knowing this person.

but also at the ashram there were quit a few "lonewolfs" that hardly even said hello when you met them, some of the felt like they were a bit.. what most people would have felt like "special" if you know what I mean,
but I enjoy that. I love it when people are themselves and are not acting and trying to be mainstream,
as long as they dont overdo it and try to hard to be NOT like others..

there were also some families there, there was this one family wich were Indian but they lived in Singapore, and they were really devoted and had spent much time with I think a school of another disciple of the Guru of this ashram. so they were very much into studying the vedic scripts.
on talent night the young boy 10?!? years sat on the stage and sang out many shlokas form the baghavagita in sanskrit, it was amazing to see! he was super smart tough that we had found out already on some of the lectures ha ha.
the even more great thing is when his father came up asweel and started to explain the meaning of some of the shlokas [shlokas are like poetic phrases / verses in sanskrit that are usually chanted], then he said to the young boy "do shloka number 52" and the bouy recitated that one and then the dad explained it ha ha. it was almost weird!

only after one day I started to skip using my sandals at the ashram,
I just loooove being barefoot! it can not be compared to India generally, because inside the gates of the ashram it is very clean..

I think about the 5th or 6th day at the asram I booked a appointment at the ayurvedic clinic for a abhyanga massage, this was actually my first. and it was an experience ha ha. there was this man who did the treatment since only men can give massage to a man here at the ashram.
he was short in his sentenses and almost like ordered me what to do, I felt a bit dumb actually at first..
you strip out of all your clothes, then you get like an cotton cloth jockstrap wich has only a string in the back. then you have to lie down on this bench witch felt like to many others have been lying naked on and glided around ha ha, need to say also that in the spartanic enviorment not everyone are super hygenic & clean either..
then he drenches you in oil and gives you this full body massage,
it was quit nice actually, but I had expected something more "harder",
this was kind of mild and more stroking style.
I really enjoyed the steaming he did towards the end and the highlight of the whole thing was actually the hot "bath/shower" you are allowed to take afterwards ha ha

I am not sure though but after this massage I got some reaction, but also at the same time I got a bad stomach, so I am not sure wich was what..
but it felt like I started a real detoxification of my physical body,
one class suddenly it literally poured sweat out from ever part of my body, from each and ever cell it felt like, interesting! I asked some others if tody was extra hot or something during class, but now one had noticed that so..
also since then during the rest of my holiday AFTER the ashmram experience I had a bad stomach now & then, wich I have never had before travelling around south east asia.
hm..

I have forgotten to write anything about karma yoga,
everyday if you are new or your duty is done at 11.00 am you meet up in front of the boutique, there came one of the 3 head teachers [Satyam I think he was called] everyday to hand out KarmaYoga to everyone, karma yoga is selfless work you can say, it is when you do a job or help someone with something without gaining anything for it personally, so it is suppose to be a kind of spiritual unselfless deed.
I was lucky I guess, I got to do my karma yoga in the ashram boutique, so I spent about one hour a day, folding pants, filling up the shelf with toiletpaper, cleaning som shelves, and unpacking products & walking to the store getting more yoga mats etc.
there was one lady there wich was the manager of the boutique, she was from Israel and everyone there knew she was kind of though & strict.
maybe when being in this kind of enviorment with new people all the time and new karma yogis chinging quit often so you have to teach them things needs a person like her? but I personally [and she liked me since the others told her I was one of the best karma yogis they have had there for a long time ha ha] thought it was a bit to much, not to humble really wich for me is more fitting in a place like this.. hm..

I rather quickly understood how fortunate I have been to have
1. a great teacher [rest in peace Sivaram]
2. to learn in such a small group as we did.
- there was a lot of things you could notice when a bit less experienced teacher got to teach at the ashram classes. 

and my god, I have been sweating so much theese days here ha ha, you are su getting used to feel dirty here, and there is only cold water showers of course..

suddenly one day I realized the kind Indian bearded man who helped me the first day, that I havent seen him.. I then heard they had found out he did a lot of "ganja" so they had to trow him out of the ashram, so sad.. I really liked him and he knew all peoples name almost even though people are not all here a long time..

so everything we do & experience will have such a different outcome depending on how our characters are..

I slept like a baby, when the morning bell rang at 05.20 and then again 05.30 I felt really not that tired at all. if I had managed now to get into the right day rythm already that would be great!

today it is christams day and instead of satsang i Siva Hall we had a silent monring walk, we walked to a lake nearby where we did morning meditation & some chanting watching the sunrise over the lake, it was beautiful..
then back at the ashram it was tea time before morning asana class.

here is the schedule they expect you to follow if staying at the ashram.

05.20 morning - wake up bell
06.00 Satsang, wich includes meditiation, chanting and a shorter talk or read from the guru's books.
07.30 tea time
08.00 asana morning class

10.00 breakfast/brunch [all vegetarian meals of course]
11.00 Karma Yoga
12.30 optional coaching class if you wanted extra support or time to practice or learn asanas or so, mostly people went here to learn sirsasana/headstand
13.30 tea time [herbal tea]
14.00 lecture
15.30 asana afternoon class

18.00 dinner

20.00 evening Satsang [wich this period was a lot of perfomrmances so shorter chanting]

22.30 lights out, good night

I must admit that after awhile I really apprichiated tho have a schedule for the whole days, there were some short breaks here and there, but otherwise full schedule he he.
no need to think, allways before each new "activity" they rang the bells..

today I felt a bit more social and talked to some, but I am really not here to mingle..
so I have no stress about meeting people here

in the evening today they had arranged a special christmas Satsang that will go on until midnight!?!? many felt a bit irritated about this, since many like me comes here because they are not that interested in christmas ha ha
any way the evening ended finally after christmas carols sung by som participants in their naitive language [actually a girl who I think was from Poland sang such a beautiful song from her country and with a great voice, it felt so sad.. I actually think I shed some tears, beautiful!] with an Indian santa claus they had arrnaged, and we got some christmas gifts and some sweet cake, but the director said to be careful eating to much cake since all the food here is very light and easy digested so the stomach can react if eating to much "other things" he he

for me theese days my salvation was eating the nuts I have found out that they sold in the ashram boutique..

just before the lecture of Vedic Mathematics it was tea time again, twice a day : )
the morning tea time was a more regular milk tea chai, you could choose the regular sweet version or the unsweetend, but most took the "true" version ha ha.
the afternoon tea tmie was herbal tea if different kinds, not allways equally good but still nice, usually during the afternoon teatimes we also got some fruit or bisquits.

I was actualy planning to take the intermediate class this first afternoon since I felt a bit stronger after my food & nap, so I went up to the the Siva Hall this time [the first class I was in the lower hall, wich is underneath the main hall, but they are equally big just nit as much height.. after a while I got a bit worried, there was this youn indina guy teaching this class, and it was so calm and easy and I startedt to thnk my teacher training must have been really hard since the classes here are not even half or a third of the classes I was tought and also teach myself ha ha. the morning class I actually had the director as the teacher, he is running this ashram since a long time and he is from italy but lived most his life in Zimbabwe someone told me. He used to be a Swami, but then suddenly he married this woman from the Delhi center and now he is living in sin? there was a lot of talk about how he could still be the director, but I guess he was so good at it? I really liked him and his approach, very calm and humble, at least the parts I saw of him.

anyway, after class I found out that I had managed to take the beginners class again, that they switch halls ha ha.
but I guess it was quit good for me to take it easy the first day anyway.
after class it was dinner at 18.00, then a small break until eveing satsang.

satsang is interesting, this was a part that my teacher training didn't do almost at all.
at least not the kirtan/mantra singing/chanting part.
so it began with a 15-30minute meditation, then the chanting, in the mornings they did more maybe about 1h? but in the evening this time of year it is a bit shorter since they had a lot of cultural shows with indian guests playing sitar, dancing, a christmas special, temple music etc.

but this my first evening satsang I was almost falling [litterarly falling ha ha] a sleep a few times and todays special topic was vedic astrology, wich was not that interesting at all.. I could see many participants left or wsnt there at all wich confused me.
and to sit this much on the floor as you do during the days here is taking its part on stiff backs ha ha.

so you start the day with sitting in meditation & for chanting during the morning Satsang about 1,5 hours
then you sit again in asana class for the mantra & pranayamas maybe 30 minutes?
then again when eating for 20minutes at least. 
in the afternoon you sit about 1-1,5hours during lecture,
and then again for mantra & pranayama in the afternoon asana class, ending the evening with sitting first thru dinner on the floor again
and then conclude with 2-2,5h for the evening satsang.

tomorrow it is christmas eve..